A few weeks ago, I posted something about Mommy Lilith and her new kitties. One of the two kittens died two days after I posted that article because the ants bit the little one's mouth (maybe because of the milk). The mother cat was left with this black kitten, and somehow this one found her way into my heart.

Since they were living in my closet, I would always check on them from time to time, and even if this one still had his eyes closed, it seemed as if he knew who I was whenever I gave them a visit. I first gave it the name "BB," short for blackberry because the cats now bears food names - Orange-y, Oreo, and Ponkan. However, I found blackberry to be a bit posh, so I thought of another name - Taosi, the black beans. The very first time I called him Taosi, he meowed with such gusto.

Last Saturday morning, his eyes started opening a bit. I guess he could see some light already because he could roam in the closet. The mother was worried the kitten already knew the surroundings, so she carried little Taosi in my bed. I just let them take over my bed, after all, I wasn't sleeping there. A few hours later, I heard a little kitty cry (just one shocked cry - like when you accidentally stepped on a cat and it would let out a cry) but thought maybe the mother cat just came near. I also saw my big male cat Orange-y came out from my room, but didn't find it suspicious. I was then surprised when I heard small kitty cries and saw that Lilith carried Taosi to our dining area. I came near to carry back the kitten to the bed when I noticed its jaw locked. I couldn't understand it, a while back the kitten was so full of life, and suddenly life was sucked out of it.

Carrying the kitten back to the bed, I saw what caused it all: a bite. My little Taosi had two small holes on its head, kinda like a vampire bite. Recalling the things happened, I knew it was Orange-y who bit Taosi because Orange-y sometimes sleeps on my bed. Maybe, because the kitten was all black and it was still small, Orange-y thought it was a mouse.

I wanted to cry when I saw the bite. Taosi wanted to fight, but he just couldn't carry his head anymore. Mommy Lilith stayed with her baby, but of course since the kitten wouldn't suck milk anymore, Lilith would just leave her kitten in the bed.

Yesterday morning, although Taosi was still breathing, I knew he would die soon. I took them outside because I didn't want the kitten to die on my bed, but because I went out, I didn't know how the whole day was for them. When I got home, my mom said Lilith carried the kitten back inside my room, but the last time she checked, the kitten was still alive. Unfortunately, when I went to my room to look for them, I saw the kitten on my bed lifeless. It was really painful.

For the second time, I got emotional about losing Lilith's kitties. First was with Juno (last year), and now. I wanted to get angry with Orange-y and hit him hard, but I just can't. Although I was angry at him, I still carried my Orange-y and told him what he did wasn't right (as if he could understand). I am now feeling sad about Lilith... after she realized her little kitten was gone, she would just roam around the house and cry. Even until now, she would go back to my closet and in my bed just to find for her baby. I am not a mother yet, but I could feel her pain.

The thought that little Taosi could be a very cute and bubbly cat in the future makes me sad, but I guess like any loss we encounter, we could wallow a bit about it, but of course life has to move forward.

*** Jenn ***

ps - I took this picture a few days after the kitties were born. I wanted to create an album showing the stages of their growth, unfortunately this was the only picture this kitten had.